Detroitish

June 29, 2017

WEARING: INK DETROIT TEE | DEZZAL ASSYMETRIC MERMAID SKIRT | 
& OTHER STORIES FISHNET SOCKS | HUSH PUPPIES MAZIN CAYTO NUBUCK BOOTS 
| STELLA & DOT GOLD AND BLACK FRINGE NECKLACE

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY DEZZAL, HUSH PUPPIES & STELLA & DOT.

DETROIT IS LIKE ROCK AND ROLL. IT'S LIKE SOUL. DETROIT IS THE WHOLE IDEA OF COOL. IF YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT TO SOMEONE, THEY PROBABLY WON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU HAVE TO SEE IT. LIVE IT. BE IT. THAT'S WHEN DETROIT STARTS TO MOVE YOU.

Hello, my darlings! Are you excited for the long holiday weekend? Summer time and the livin' is easy... or so to speak. Got any special plans? I used to be a huge fan of the Fourth of July when my pops was around, but his passing, which was a few days after Independence Day, has changed my ways of celebrating. I used to go out and watch the fireworks, but since he's been gone, I find it too hard to do, let alone celebrate anything. I'm a very private person and getting myself to open up to you guys has been challenging, and quite frankly, a little terrifying. Af first I thought no one would listen. No one would care. But as time has gone on, I have become more courageous in telling my story. Am I ready to tell-all? Oh hell, nah. Some things are better left unsaid. But with baby steps and perhaps when the timing is right, I believe I will slowly but surely share more about myself. In today's post, I'll be discussing two topics. One, how to get through jury duty easily and as painlessly as possible. And two, I'll be talking about copycats and if imitation really is the best form of flattery.

Miraculously I only served jury duty for one day. Now before you go and get your hopes up, know that most cases you'll serve for at least 2-3 days. But some of the tips I'm about to give you has nothing to do with getting out of it faster. It is a civic duty and most of us take it for granted. Just like paying your taxes or voting in this country, it is something you have to do. But while you're stuck at the courthouse for eight hours a day, why not have it go as fast as possible? So instead of twiddling your thumbs while you watch the clock, bring a shit ton of reading materials, whether, on your iPad, or a newspaper and/or a book, you're going to have to keep that mind of yours occupied. Not much of a reader? (We can't be friends if you're not... haha JK!) You can play games or stay engaged on social media with your phone or laptop. Or you can do what I did, the moment I sat down at 9 am sharp, I whipped out my laptop and went straight to work.

Another tip while serving jury duty? If you're a heavy snacker like me (I don't eat 3 square meals a day, but rather on average, snack non-stop throughout the day instead... a heavy lunch makes me lethargic, and as Gordon Gekko once said, "lunch is for wimps") make sure to bring a lot of single dollar bills for the vending machine. You can't bring in food or drinks through security (just like the airport) so be prepared to have some singles to get through the day and to keep your belly happy. Bathrooms and the courts, in general, are pretty skeevy so be sure to bring hand sanitizer. Sometimes the bathrooms will have no more soap or paper towel to dry your hands, so even keeping a package of tissues with you would be good. Lastly, bring a jacket or cardigan especially if you serve during the summer because they normally crank the AC full blast in these buildings, especially in the courtrooms.

And now onto copycatting. I've been reading a lot from other bloggers and influencers about their frustrations in others copping their creative concepts or even worse, flat out re-doing the same shit they saw someone else do. (literally from head-to-toe outfits, same travel itineraries and more.) I've even read somewhere about influencers wanting to copyright their own work. Guess what, folks? Most creative ideas and/or concepts have been done since the dawn of time and have been recycled and done over and over again but in different ways. So when it comes to fashion, no, nothing is exactly your own invention. There may be inspirational or admirable factors (and yes, the dreadful SWF factor... I've experienced it and it's creepy AF), but to think you were the first to come up with an idea, you better think again. The challenge is to try and find something that hasn't been done before and actually seeking out to do it! I can't tell you how many times I've seen others try to do what others do, and it's cute, perhaps even flattering to some, but don't hold it against them. Why? Because... YOU are YOU, and that is your POWER. They can try all they want to be like you, but at the end of the day, that'll never be.

Going back to my roots in Detroit, as a kid, I used to get made fun of for liking X-Men comic books and wanting to go out and be Batman rather than Cinderella. When I hit adolescence, I was known for being, 'flat as a board', 'chink', and other derogatory names I don't feel worthy of mentioning. Fast forward to now, half of the kids that used to pick on me are now trolling through each and every one of my Insta Stories and through my other social media channels. I've never received an apology, nor do I ever expect one, but now I think it's all comical. Why are they watching? Because I'm doing me and they're doing them, and I can guarantee my life is much more interesting than it was back in high school. I see 'em, but I don't acknowledge them. The same goes for anyone who can't be true to themselves. Why do you want to be anyone other than yourself? One of the most powerful tools to have in life is authenticity! Without it, there's really not much else to go by. So is imitation the best form of flattery? Nope. Don't be basic. (As the 'millennials' call it.) Here's something to go by, INSPIRE, NOT IMITATE.

LOVE & XX'S,

SHOP THE LOOK

Stella & Dot Gold & Black Fringe Necklace

FOLLOW MAQ + SUZ

Cosmopolitan: Let's Talk About It Event

June 25, 2017

WEARING: NATIVE YOUTH RUST HIGH NECK BLOCK JERSEY SWEATER | 
MARSHALL FIELD'S FAUX CROC SATCHEL BAG | ALDO BUGIANO STUDDED ANKLE BOOTIES | 
STELLA & DOT GOLD AND BLACK FRINGE NECKLACE | AE CHAMBRAY SHIRT

THIS POST IS SPONSORED BY COSMOPOLITAN, NATIVE YOUTH, AND STELLA & DOT.

"KILL THEM WITH COMPETENCE."

Yesterday's 'Let's Talk About It' event with Cosmopolitan helped others find their voice on topics that some (wrong) people consider taboo for women to talk about and more. Busting taboos around money & power, sex & romance, beauty & image, happiness and more, it was an inspiring, and empowering way to spend a Saturday. Kicking off the morning with 'humming in' with sound therapy practitioner, Sara Auster, and CEO of MNDFL, Ellie Burrows, the entire room suddenly felt like I was surrounded by hundreds of bees near its main nest. It was strange yet communal... zen. Practicing meditation helps one focus on themselves and who they really are. It was a unique opener and a wonderful way to bring us together.

The seminar was welcomed by Editor-in-Chief of Cosmopolitan, Michele Promaulayko, and her first panel of boss women, television personality, host, fashion designer, singer, actress and author of There's No F*cking Secret: Letters From a Badass Bitch, Kelly Osbourne, acclaimed TV journalist, woman's empowerment advocate and author of the upcoming book, Be Fierce: Stop Harassment and Take Your Power Back, Gretchen Carlson, and CEO of, The Pink Ceiling, and the woman behind the 'female viagra', Addyi, Cindy Whitehead.

Self-acceptance, struggles in the workforce and yes, sex, was among some of the general topics discussed in the opening panel. I think my favorite moment from that panel was Kelly Osbourne's story about being bullied as a kid. At first, she confided in her mother, Sharon, and told her to go back to school the following day and tell the girls that were picking on her that if they didn't stop, she'd have her father bite their heads off. LMAO. But when that didn't work, she then went to her father, Ozzy. And surprisingly enough, his advice was to basically tattletale on them. He told her to tell the girls they had one last chance to do right and if they didn't stop, she would report them. And sending that kind of message to your daughter, that your voice is the most powerful force within you, is such an important lesson to learn, let alone acquire.

The second segment focused on money, power & work. The panel included Director of Editorial and Business Development of Cosmopolitan & Seventeen, Laura Brounstein, journalist & author of, Feminist Fight Club, Jessica Bennett, and women's leadership expert, Chief Leadership Officer for LEVO & author of, Drop the Ball, Tiffany Dufu. Heavy talks of the balance between your work life and personal life were extremely central to everyone, along with great tips for it. For example, Tiffany Dufu, said people respond to authenticity. “Embrace the imperfection,” she said. “Do what you need to do in order to be the kind of leader that people will resonate with." And I think this applies to everywhere in life, not just on Instagram. 9/10 times I want to work with someone because they're real with me, not because they're putting up a front that they're perfect. Because no one is that.

When Jessica Bennett was first starting her career, she felt uneasy about self-promotion. Her male co-workers, however, had no trouble shamelessly doing so — and got all the credit and raises. Then she and her friend came up with a strategy and became each other’s “boast bitches.” “When I did something good, she would send a mass email to all of our editors, being like, ‘Did you see this great thing that Jess did? It was really amazing!’ And I would do the same for her.” No good deed goes unpunished? Not in this case. It's selfless, they're both supporting one another and at the same time feeling good doing it and feeling good about themselves. And they finally got the credit they deserved.

Another favorite segment was the sex talk with Digital Special Projects Director for Cosmopolitan, Seventeen, & Redbook, Elisa Benson, actor & host of his own hit podcast, The Love Bomb, Nico Tortorella, and founder & host of the Sex with Emily podcast, Dr. Emily Morse. Dr. Morse encouraged women to talk about what they need from their partners in the bedroom but to not talk about it in the bedroom. Rather in a more relaxed setting, like at brunch, or over coffee. "Make it more casual," she said. "You just kind of throw it out there, not like a we need to talk." Another tip? Do it in the car or on the subway. It's a place where you can talk about awkward issues without making eye contact. And reinforce, reinforce, reinforce! It goes a long way, especially before giving some feedback that might not exactly be A+.

After lunch, there was a dance-off with the founder & creator of DanceBody, Katia Pryce, where she had the entire room gyrating together in a full circle. It was yet another great way to bring everyone together and to prepare everybody for what's next, which was the part where we all sat around each other in the same circle and went around telling the room what our current ambitions were. Many wanted love, happiness and more. Better jobs, bigger houses, more time with their loved ones... and I have to admit, when it comes down to it, we really all want the same things in life. To love and be loved in return, to find joy in the bittersweetness of life; to belong to something, to be accepted and appreciated. To have much purpose and to fulfill your dreams. To just be at peace.

And the Cosmopolitan conference did just that for me and helped me recognize what really matters and what doesn't. What's your current ambition? To answer mine, I would honestly say that I am striving to be a better wife and mommy to my fur child because, with the crazy amount of work I've been doing in the past year, the amount of time I have with them is really scarce. Sure, I work with my husband constantly, but that doesn't count for quality time. And my pup has been missing me being home and spending time with him. So I'm definitely working on that challenging balance in life as well. This event also reminded me how powerful our voices really can be. I think if we can continue to spread the gift of courage, in that the more we speak up about things we shouldn't necessarily talk about or are subject to taboo, the more we will all see that it can help and inspire others to break free from their silence. Thanks for stopping by and reading about my Cosmopolitan adventures! Don't forget to comment your ambitions down below!