8 Ways to Stop Being So Hard on Yourself
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Happy Tuesday! If you know me by now, you definitely know how hard I can be on myself. It's not the best feature I've acquired through the years, as this, in turn, makes me be hard on those around me as well. I have been through a lot in my life and the way I grew up also affected the way I perceive life sometimes. It can be a roller coaster ride; at times I really feel like I'm on the right track, that I know where I'm at and what I'm supposed to be doing, and then other times I'm curled up into a ball, crying, and wondering what I am doing with my life and that the only explanation is my crazy self. Ah, the sweet cycle of a creative person. So in today's post, I'm sharing my tips on how to not be so hard on yourself - I'm not perfect by any means, but I've been doing a lot of soul-searching and these suggestions have greatly helped me balance it out much more than I have my entire life! Continue reading to learn more from these 8 tips.
1. HAVE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
Your mistakes are part of your learning experience. It's okay to fail. We are only, human, after all. What's not okay is to give up. Learn to be resilient in the face of failure. And when presented with an opportunity: Run with it, don't have any kind of expectations! If you do, you're already setting yourself up for disappointment.
2. THE PAST IS NOT YOUR IDENTITY.
Yes, the past usually is filled with heartache and pain, and a plethora of mistakes. We have all gone through the good, bad and yes, the ugly. And though the past will shape you into what you will become, it doesn't dictate your entire YOU. It's not easy to put the past behind, but that's where it's meant to stay. Don't look back, learn from the lessons (they're in everything, just LOOK) and keep on keeping on, but moving forward.
3. LEARN FROM PEOPLE WHO CRITICIZE YOU.
Don't let their critics get you down. That's the easy way out! Let it inspire you to work your ass off. Now it should be constructive criticism and not a case of bashing/bullying/doesn't know what the hell they're talking about, and instead of shutting out any form of feedback, learn to take it with a grain of salt. Let that motivate you to learn and grow.
4. ACCEPT YOUR WEAKNESS AS YOUR FEATURES TOO.
We all embrace our strengths, but what about our flaws? You can't be good at everything you do (trust me I've tried), but nobody else is, either! Loving everything about yourself also means accepting the not so perfect parts. Change doesn't happen overnight, but if you're willing to work on yourself while being aware of what it is, that's pretty commendable. But don't fight it, be okay with everything you are.
5. WHAT MAKES YOUR PROBLEMS BIGGER THAN ANYONE ELSE'S?
Not going to lie, in the past my answer used to be, "They're MINE." But now that I'm older (and hopefully a little wiser) my answer is that every single problem you have is NOT unique. Put your problems in perspective, just turn on the TV and watch the news to get a glimpse of the bigger picture, and trust me, you will solve your problems faster.
6. DON'T GET MAD, GET EVEN.
We all go through feelings of anger, resentment and more. What you do with these emotions is completely on you! Feel your anger, express it (in a productive manner) and learn from it. It's like that saying, "take your broken heart and make it into art." Same ideology applies when it comes to being really pissed off. Make use of that negative energy and put it forth to something better.
7. AFFIRMATIONS ARE KIND OF GROOVY.
Are you able to look at yourself in the mirror every day and go, "Wow, despite my imperfections, I'm a pretty awesome human being! Go ME!", or something to that effect, then yeah, I'd say affirmations go a long way. Instead of pointing out what you don't like about yourself because let's face it, that's a little too easy to do... why not make note of the little things you actually do love about yourself? Face that mirror and give affirmations on what you love about yourself. That positive energy will translate in more than one way, I promise!
8. CHALLENGE YOUR NEGATIVE INNER CRITIC
Or as I call it, "The Bully Voice". Shut that bitch down. It's easier to let negativity win rather than the positive. When my mind starts to play tricks on me, saying "I'm not good enough" or, "This will never happen", etc; you have to smack that voice upside the head until its gone. How to do to that? Take your mind off of it, go for a run, go have a drink, talk to a friend, distract yourself with some spring cleaning. Positivity will always outweigh the negative.
What are some of your tips/suggestions on not being so hard on yourself? Would love to hear from you guys so leave a comment at the end of this post with your own advice! As always, you can shop the look at the beginning or end of each blog post. Who is feeling this fuschia men's jacket/blazer as much as me right now?! Doesn't it just scream spring? I'm ready, are you? :)